“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” Jennifer Smith
I absolutely love that quote. Isn’t it beautiful?
My parents have been married for 52 years. Over the years they have shared great times, and certainly some challenging ones as many marriages do.
I asked them what tips they had to a lasting marriage, and here were their top 10 answers:
Love. A constant and unwavering like, admiration, and love for one another. Even during the tough times their unconditional love and respect for one another continues to see them through. Their friendship and love is inspiring to many.
Family. Children and grandchildren are their pride and joy, and perhaps have added a few grey hairs a long the way. Family is very important to my parents and plays an important role in their happiness and togetherness. There aren’t too many holidays that you won’t find the family gathered around the dining room table sharing stories and laughter.
Respect. They value themselves and each other. They respect one anothers opinions, decisions, and view points, even when they differ. They choose to agree to disagree.
Trust. They trust themselves and one another. They believe that each other will hold true to their word, and they do.
Flexibility. Life is forever changing, and so are people and their interests. Sometimes you have to be accommodating. They have learned to compromise and pay attention to what is important today as that can change from month to month or year to year. Without flexibility, there are just a lot of disagreements and things left unresolved.
Common interests. This point came up often throughout our conversation. It’s important to share the same morals and values, and enjoy doing similar things. It’s good to have different interests, but it’s key to have ones that are the same. They look forward to spending time together doing the things they love to do, or nothing at all. They also take an interest in what each other enjoys.
Communication. They talk about anything and everything. They are able to share the highs and lows, and the trials and triumphs. They support one another through thick and thin.
Friends. They feel very blessed to have friends that share the same morals and values, and who enjoy doing similar things. Friends that they can travel with, or talk endlessly with, or sit in silence and be just as comfortable.
Commitment. They honour their past, present, and future promises and vows – no ifs’, ands’ or buts’.
Comfort. They are comfortable with themselves and each other. They relax in each others company no matter where they are or what they are doing. They do things for one another that adds joy to their days and love in their relationship.
Perhaps your relationship or marriage share some of these qualities, or maybe some different ones that are important to you and have created your beautiful love story for as long or short as it may have been.
Relationships aren’t always easy, that’s for sure. Both people have to work at keeping their commitments, and growing and learning from their partnership.
They need to pay attention to what is working and not working and find the middle ground that makes each other feel loved, heard, and appreciated.
They have to continue to contribute to the ongoing trust, comfort, joy, and love in their relationship. They have to learn to communicate and compromise effectively.
There has to be a balance of give and take.
Most importantly, they have to like and respect themselves and each other.
Whether you are in a new relationship, or one of many years, or perhaps one that hasn’t worked out, you can learn a lot about yourself and what’s truly important about love, friendship, and partnership.
Let your partner know what tiny moments have, and continue to have, to create your love story.
Use these techniques with insight to assist you in seeing what is working and not working in your relationship and ways to improve and strengthen your love and enjoyment.
Kimberley Cohen is the Founder, Facilitator and Personal Insight Coach of The Insight Technique&trade.
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Kimberley is certified in Body Mind Counselling, Process Oriented Body Work and Spiritual Psychotherapy and Polarity Therapy. She founded the Insight Technique™ – Your Insight to genuine Happiness, Purpose and Prosperity to assist herself and others in transforming limiting mindsets.
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